Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Why Today Won't Go in the Rubbish Bin

I recently read a blog post written by a woman who is a stay-at-home-mom. I read a lot of blog posts by SAHMs, because I am new to this job and I need all the advice and help I can get. This particular blog post was telling SAHMs to, basically, stop whining about all the "problems" that come with the job. She argued that while it is hard, SAHMs are the luckiest people on earth.


I won't say I agree or disagree with her.

But I have my own thoughts.

Because today, I feel like it is the worst job ever. Not the kids. The job.

I thought about composing a list of the Top Ten Reasons Why Today Sucks, beginning with Kid's temper tantrum, leading to Baby being ignored for a mere moment, only to get caught in a precarious situation. Throw in some baby vomit (times ten) and another meltdown with Kid, and there is a non-perfect day, one I'd like to whine about. Because sometimes, I just need someone to vent to. This job isn't like my previous career. I can't close the door for ten minutes just to breathe. I certainly can't take a 15 minute break and leave everything behind to recuperate. Nope, this is 24/7.

Would I change it? Would I take my career back over staying home with my kids? No, but I'm not going to lose myself in them, either. They are me. I am them. Together, we can get through these days, even if I have to tweet or blog about the fact that my hair hasn't been washed since concert night and I do not have a single speck of makeup on today.

Oh, yeah, and my jeans have chip stains, remnants of spit-up, and other things I'm not quite sure how to describe.

I thought I could still have a perfect ending to a really hard day, so I took the girls out to swing. Getting this picture was a fight. It's not a perfect, serene, picture of two happy sisters swinging together. It's a forced picture.

But it's still capturing a moment.

Even on these days, at the end of the day, when I tuck my girls into their beds, kiss their soft foreheads, stroke their smooth cheeks, and brush the hair off their eyes, I see two incredible beings who, even though an hour ago I wanted nothing more than to please go to sleep so I could have a break, I want to wake up so I can tell them I love them and I wouldn't trade this job for anything.