Wednesday, October 22, 2014

This One's for My Sister

When my husband and I started trying to have another baby after Kid was born, I thought a three year gap would be perfect. Enough time for Kid to still be the baby, and also to be potty trained (no changing diapers when pregnant is a rule). But time passed and that gap between Kid and her would-be sibling was growing wider and wider. It took us three years to get Kid, and it looked like it was going to be that long -- or never - before we had another child. I tried to be okay with Kid being an only child.

But I couldn't, because what I wanted most, besides having another child to love and raise, was a sister for Kid, and for that child to have Kid as a sister. I was lucky enough to have a big sister who has loved me unconditionally my entire life, despite my tattle-telling, my being a spoiled brat, my annoying little sister things I have always done... She still loves me. I knew Kid would be that same kind of sister.

My sister and I are, really, not very much alike. We don't look alike. We don't have the same taste in books, music, or movies. I like to cook. She hates it. I am religious. She isn't. She's so crafty. I am so not. I dress weird. She tries to keep me looking cute. And yes, she's the beautiful one, and I'm the "Oh, you're her sister?" one. 

But I hope that, in the things that really, truly matter, we are a lot alike, like what we both believe is truly important in life, such as raising our girls to be strong, independent, women. I hope that I am as thoughtful and kind-hearted as she is, that I always think of others before myself. I hope I love the way she loves, and defend and stand up for those I love with all of my soul. I hope I'm half the woman that she is. I hope she knows I love her the way she's always shown she loves me.

***

When Baby finally came, she and Kid ended up being five years apart. My sister and I are nearly four years apart, and that never stopped us from playing together, confiding in each other, and being each other's best friend, despite our age gap and our differences. It's not because we share blood that we are close. It's because of her and her ability to love me through everything that is different. True love doesn't always come in the form of the person you marry. True love may have been there for you from birth.